Losing Myself
by ALittleRaven
Summary: What if something bigger and older than Prince Gumball threatened Aaa? What if the only person who can save Aaa is doomed herself? Join Adarellan Ravencroft as she finds out who she truely is, and how her horrible past can help save her and all of Aaa. (This fanfiction has a slight crossover with my trilogy: The Angel Wars)
1. Chapter 1: How I Met Him

**Introduction**

Hello. I was Adrarellan in my past life. When I was bigger than Aaa. And everything in it. Now I'm not so sure I am bigger than Aaa anymore. I was an angel. And now I'm a fallen one.

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**Chapter 1: How I met him**

I remember that day very clearly. The day I fell out of Erindell. It's what humans used to call Heaven, before the Great Mushroom War. I was sitting on a cloud, thinking about what Morfilas told me.

"You'll never make a perfect angel.

You'll always be cursed, and not even a demon could uncurse you!" Morfilas' words echoed in my head. I'm losing myself. I shake my head to clear my thoughts.

"What's up, Adarellan?" Dygan jumps out from behind me, his white wings gleaming off the light from his newfound halo. "Hey, if it's about the test, forget about Morfilas. He's just extra hard on you 'cause you're his daughter. He has to be all "high and mighty" just 'cause he's a Realm Lord." Dygan jumps up, feathers ruffling slightly and reaches over to give me a hug. I feel my muscles tense up and instinctively unfurl my wings.

"Um..I have to go do...something, somewhere. Bye Dygan." I let myself fall off the edge of the cloud and I hurl downward. Rocketing past my house, I stop at the gates. The ones that lead into the mortal world, Aaa. I find my legs crumpling as I fall to the main cloud. No one has ever fallen through it, because no angel ever failed to meet his or her standards. Then, again, no angel was ever cursed at birth. Except for me. I can't get up again, and I feel myself slowly sinking, like I am in a tub of nectar. My ankles disappear through the cloud, and then my waist. I cry out, willing my voice to be heard, but no one comes to my rescue. Slowly I am pulled under the cloud, my vision only white, my wings outstretched. I remember hitting the ground and someone running-no floating- up to me. Then, I black out.


	2. Chapter 2: Old Friends

**Author's Note: I took down the first two chapters for spell and grammer checks, but they be back up soon. Thank you so much for the views, but don't forget to review!**

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"No PG, she literally fell out of the sky!"

"Really, Marshall? How long will your pranks last? It's not even funny anymore!"

"Gumball! This isn't a prank! Look at her, she isn't from Aaa."

I moan slightly, momentarily stopping the bickering, and flutter open my eyes.

"Where am I?" I hear myself croak. I see two guys standing over me waiting. The one that has a grey complexion is staring at me with wide eyes, while the other one -whom is pink- is looking at me with question.

"Who are you?" The grey one asks. And it suddenly occurs to me that these people could be hostile. On instinct I unfurl my wings and summon a tiny fireball in my hands.

"How about I ask who are you?!" I shoot back. "Now I won't ask again. Where am I?"

"You are in Aaa." The pink one replies cooly.

"I know this, but which kingdom?" As I say this a look passes through them. The pink stares at me once more and I instantly know where he is from.

"Prince Gumball?" My voice cracks with emotion.

"Who are you?!" He whispers back. "How do you know me?"

"500 years ago. You played with a little girl in Elysium. Her name was Adarellan."

"Adarellan?! Is that really you? My look how you've grown! How is your father?" His eyes brighten and he comes to sit by my side. I extinguish the fireball and refold my wings before replying.

"Still demanding." I answer. "How have you been the last 500 years? You look well. I take it I am in the Candy Kingdom then? How is Peppermint Maid?"

"Still living life in the fast lane I see!" Gumball chuckles at this, "That sounds good, I've been fine, yes, and she's fine too."

The gray one clears his throat, "Am I missing something?"

Gumball answers with slight annoyance, "Marshall Lee this is Adarellan Ravencroft. She is an old friend of mine."

"She looks only 17."

"I am over a thousand years old, Marshall Lee. I have and long unbroken line of Fae and Angel in my blood." I grin at his face when I say this. Slowly with Gumball and Marshall Lee's help, I slide out of bed.

"Gumball does Peppermint Maid have any nectar or ambrosia left?" I whisper, wincing.

"Lots." Turning his head he shouts, "Peppermint Maid! I need ambrosia and nectar immediately!"

With that Peppermint Maid rushes in carrying a platter. I stuff the ambrosia in my mouth and chew as fast and as hard as physically possible. I practically chug the nectar. As it reaches my stomach, I feel its effects, and within seconds, I am healed.

"Thank you, Peppermint Maid!"

"Anytime, Adarellan. Anytime." She turns and leaves as Gumball hugs me hard. Marshall's face falls at this.

"Well if no one needs me I'm going back to my cave." Marshall Lee declares and floats out the room.

"Now that you are here, we shall have a ball!" Gumball declares. "Now all of Aaa will know who you are!


	3. Chapter 3: In a Cave

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hello everyone! First of all, sorry for the errors, I upload from my phone, so it's not the best. That you for even taking the time to look at my fan fiction. By the way, it will always be in Adarellan's point of view, unless said otherwise. :)**

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**~Marshall Lee **

There is something about Adarellan that I can't quite put my finger on. What is it about her? When I was near her, I felt nervous... What does this mean? I feel like I know her from somewhere.

I pull my base from off my back and struma couple of chords. Suddenly, there was tapping on my window. A little marshmallow bird was sitting outside my window, and it looks like it is holding an envelope. Carefully, I open the window and grab the envelope.

"Thanks." I mutter. Then it flies off. I rip open the envelope and looked inside. Inside was an invitation to a ball.

"You are herby invited to Prince Gumball and Princess Adarellan Ravencroft's ball.

When: Tomorrow at sundown

Where: The Candy Palace

Why: Princess Adarellan's arrival in Aaa

Attire:

Formal

P.S. I'm only inviting you because you brought the princess to me. Also she firmly requested your presence."

~ Prince B. Gumball

"What the? Gummy actually invited me to his ball?" My face scrunches up. I read the invite again. Princess Adarellan Ravencroft? And she requested my presence? What?"


	4. Chapter 4: The Ball

**Author's Note: Wow... this is a long one and took me several hours to write. Finally the moment you've all been waiting for is here! Hope you enjoy it!**

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"Ouch!" I clench my teeth to keep from screaming. My maids never brushed my hair this hard.

"Hold still, Princess, your hair is very thick!" Peppermint Maid replies in a calming voice, and I start to sit still.

"Done! That wasn't so hard was it? Now on to your dress. I made it for you dear. I know you will love it!" Then she hands me a dress wrapped in plastic and leaves me to change. I unzip the plastic covering and gasp. It's stunning! It's the most beautiful shade of azure blue, which matches my eyes. It's long and it's made of several layers of fabric. No... not fabric, precious gems! And silver too! I slip it on, and it just looks right on me. It makes my white wings glow. Someone knocks at my door.

"Come in!" Gumball sticks his head in and gasps.

"You are beautiful! Now I know this crown will match!" Holding his hands out, a crown sits atop them. The crown is silver and has 6 points, each bearing a blue gem in the middle. On the base, a string of pearls sit, glowing in the light.

"Gumball! I love it!" I squeal with delight as he sets the crownon topof my head. I turn and face the mirror once more. My long white hair is down, the ends reaching my hips. My blue/green eyes glowing.

"Are you ready?" Gumball grabs my arm, and before I can reply we are in the ballroom atop a large set of candy stairs.

"May I present Price Gumball and Princess Adarellan!" Peppermint maid announces from somewhere off to the left. So many heads turn our way and a hush falls over the room, as we make our way down the stairs, the candy folk start clapping. I hear quiet whispers of "She's amazing" and "She looks good with Prince Gumball", and I blush.

Just as we are in the middle of the staircase the large doors open and Marshall Lee bursts through desperate to make an entrance, but stops in his tracks as soon as he sees me with Gumball. Marshall Lee turns and floats out.

"Wait!" I hear myself shout. In a blink of an eye I unfold my wings and jump. My wings snap open just in time and I fly after him. As soon as I reach him I grab his arm making him turn.

"What do you want?" He snaps at me making me flinch. "Why don't you go back to Gummy and you two can dance the night away!" He tries to turn, but I have a grip of steel.

"Listen. Gumball may be an old friend, but I have no feelings for him. I just grew up with him in Elysium."

"Then what do you want?" He shoots back at me.

"I wanted you here because I can tell you are different. Now lets go back. By the way, was your mother or father the demon?"

"How could you tell I was a demon?"

"I grew up in the underworld with my mom and then went to live in Erindell with my dad."

"Oh."

Soon we reach the gigantic chocolate doors, and I push them open. Eyes stare at me once more as my wings curl around me. Marshall Lee grabs my hand and I pull back my wings. Soon everyone is dancing and enjoying themselves. A girl and a very large cat come up to Marshall Lee and I.

"Hello Marshall!" The girl says in cheery voice.

"Princess Adarellan this is Fiona and Cake! Fiona and cake this is-" "I know this Marshall. She was announced for Pete's sake." The one called Fiona interrupts.

"Fiona!" Cake hisses. "She's a good friend of Prince Gumball! Treat her like one."

"No, it's fine! I got that all the time from souls in the underworld." I drop my hand to my side, sensing Fiona's jelosy and Cake's annoyance. Fiona's eyes widen a lot when I say this.

"You've been to the underworld?" Fiona leans in expectantly.

"I've lived in it. For a thousand years."

"Wait how old are you?" Fiona's nose scrunches as she asks this.

"One thousand and seven hundred years. Which is about 17 years for the fae."

"Ooo! Look refreshments!" Cake squeals pulling Fiona away before she can ask any more questions. Now Prince Gumball walks up to us.

"Ah! There you are Adarellan! I hoped you wouldn't leave after Marshall-" Gumball sputters as he sees Marshall Lee, who was once again holding my hand with a smug look on his face.

Ignoring Prince Gumball, Marshall Lee loudly asks me to dance. Thankfully, it's a slow song-a waltz- so I won't make a fool out of myself. One, two, three, one, two, three. I chant it over and over in my head until Marshall Lee dances us to the edge of the ball room and out onto the balcony.

Finally we've stopped dancing, and as soon as I looked up at Marshall Lee he leaned down and kissed me right on the lips. I push him back and he wimpers like a kicked puppy. "

I'm sorry. It's not you, it's me. I turn and run back into the ball room as fast as I can, but before I can make it to the center I fall to the ground writhing in agony as a few of my feathers wither, break and fall out. Prince Gumball rushes to my side, as new black feathers grow in where the dead ones were. My glorious white wings are now streaked. And once again the world goes black.


	5. Chapter 5: Waking up

**Author's Note: Sorry for not uploading in such a long time! I was ready to just scrap the story, since I had so many spelling errors from typing this on my phone... but then I saw someone actually likes my work! So thank you! :) **

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Again the sensation of being in an unfamiliar place plagued me. I didn't really know what was going on around me, but it was loud. Shouts and screaming rang my ears, to the point of deafness. Forcing my eyelids open, I saw many candy people running around, screaming, but I couldn't hear them. Out of sheer force of will, I pushed myself to my feet. I swayed, still woozy. I saw Gumball run to me, and catch me right before I fell. I slipped out of consciousness again.

It felt like minutes, but I finally regained consciousness! I saw Gumball standing over me, with a very worried look on his face.

"Gumball." I croaked, my voice hoarse. He smiled slightly when I said that, small tears in his eyes. He carefully bends down and kisses my forehead ever so gently, so soft that a newborn baby's skin would feel like a hard sheet of metal.

"Shhh. Don't speak." He whispers. "You fell pretty hard when you passed out at the ball."

"What happened?" I ask, completely ignoring the whole "Don't speak".

"You ran from Marshall, then you crashed in the middle of the floor. You screamed and screamed and I didn't know what to do! It was so scary." And for a second, I could see something behind those steely hard eyes. "Some of your feathers..." His voice lowered a bit before continuing. "They fell out and turned black."

"What?" My face must have paled or something, because Gumball grabbed my hand, and cradled it in his.

"Look for yourself." And with his other hand, he extended my wing out so that I could see it, and sure enough it had small streaks of black. "Death didn't know why your feathers are turning black."

"Where is Marshall Lee?" I ask slowly.

"I banned him from seeing you while you slept."

"Well I am not sleeping now so get him." I bark. Then realizing that I just yelled at him, I turn away and whisper a very timid "Sorry".

"It's okay. Peps!" As Peppermint Maid bursts through the door, Gumballs shouts across the room, "Get Marshall Lee for the princess please!" And she rushes away.


	6. Chapter 6: Unwelcome Companies

**Author's note: Thank you for reading, I'm really going to write now that I'll be on Thanksgiving break and that I'll get the chance to! I've been really busy on my artwork, so thank you all for being so patient on this episode! I promise it will get REALLY REALLY REALLY emotional, and yes, there will be blooming romances! XD But all in due time... Love y'all and hope you guys really like it!**

**~Raven**

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**Chapter 1: Unwelcome Companies**

**~ Gumball**

I don't know why she seems to enjoy Marshall's presence... He certainly is not her type... I remember her as a child, she was as adventureous as Fiona, as fiesty as Cake, as smart as I, and as kind as BMO. Her smile would light up a field of spirits...

Gumball shook his head to clear it, but all he did was manage to move his crown. He didn't know why he was making such a fuss over Adarellan's relationship- connection- with Marshall Lee. Gumball refused to think about this matter for any longer as he walked along the coridor to Adarellan's room. As he walks into Adarellan's room he finds Marshall Lee with her, floating over her, talking with her, and looking at her with such a look in his eyes. A look that Adarellan used to give him, Gumball all the time. A look of admiration and feeling.

"Ahem." I clear my thought and Adarellan looks up.

"Hello Gumball, how're you today?" She says with a smile. Adarellan gets a more thoughtful look in her face and bursts out, "Am I well enough to fly yet?"

"I suppose so..." I whisper, my voice deciding suddenly not to work. As soon as my words leave my lips the princess requests us to leave her room to change into more suitable clothing. I leave, feeling a sort of bitterness that she prefers Marshall's presence over mine.

**~Adarellan**

As Gumball and Marshall leave, I slide out of bed and walk over to the chocolate wardrobe. I open it carefully, because the handles look very fragile since they are made with very beautifully decorated thin pieces of chocolate. I quickly scan all the clothing options and decide that the black pair of skinny jeans and the dark blue tank top with the low back and around-the-neck style strap were the most convenient choices. I plop back on my bed and slip on my back climbing boots. I braid my hair very quickly, and step out my door. As soon as I do so, I see Gumball holding Marshall Lee by the collar, obviously angry. Gumball falters as soon as he sees me. I hear Marshall's breath catch just ever so slightly, and I quickly recover from the shock of the sight before me.

"Gumball release Marshall Lee...now." My voice is as Dygan would have put it, 'in the danger zone'. Gumball slowly lets down Marshall Lee, and I utter a small thank you. When I get angry, my normally azure blue eyes darken to where they are black. My eyes are very dark right now.

"Let's go Marshall, some companies are a bit...unwanted right now." I step through the hallway's window my wings itching to catch the breeze.


	7. Chapter 7: Unwelcome Companies pt 2

**Author's note:**

** Hello everyone, nice to see you. I've officially decided to pick up this and run with it! Which means I'm going to update it for everyone to read... yay! **

**Just a side - side note, the grammar and spelling will be correct and looked over, so no more awkward words! XD Love y'all!**

**~Raven**

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**~Marshall Lee**

Gumball grabs my shirt collar and lifts me in the air as he mutters the words, "stay away from her" through clenched teeth. I try to break his grip, but surprisingly, it's pretty strong. I hear a small gasp as the door behind us opens and Adarellan walks out, her beautiful snow white hair in a single thick braid falling over her shoulder. My breath catches at the sight of her, and I don't know why... She's dressed in the most casual manner, yet she looks...amazing.

"Gumball release Marshall Lee...now." Adarellan speaks very quietly, but it's enough to make Gumball drop me. Adarellan's eyes are not the bright blue I've seen over and over, no they're as dark as the bottom of the ocean. Remind me to never get on Adarellan's bad side...

"Let's go Marshall... some companies are a bit..unwanted right now" She steps out of the hallway window, extending her wings just ever-so-slightly. I smile and jump.

**~Adarellan**

I smile on the inside as I hear Marshall jump behind me. It's a perfect day for flying, it's warm, slightly sunny, and no wind resistance. But something tugs at me in the back of my mind... why did Gumball react like that? I've never known him to be violent...

"Marshall?" I call over my shoulder.

"Yeah?" He replies and floats ahead of me. I want to ask him why Gumball looked as if he was going to shove Marshall out of the tower... but my lips form different words instead.

"Race you to the snow covered mountains!" Marshall grins, his vampire's fangs showing. I've never realized how much I love his smile. I don't know about Marshall, but I'm known for being a pretty fast flier.

Instantly, I push my wings down really hard, and go shooting forward. I look back for a second just to see Marshall's surprised then slightly determined face as he pushes forward as well. Soon I've reached the snowy mountain tops and Marshall is gasping for breath behind me. But before I can say anything I hear a shrilly cackle behind me. Then a bolt of ice hits Marshall, freezing him into a Marshallsicle. I quickly turn around hoping to see who the person behind me was, and I caught a glimpse of an old woman with long hair and a blue dress carrying Marshall away to an ice castle in the distance. Angered, I flew after her at sonic speed and crashed through one of the walls. I found the old woman pushing a keyboard in front of a half-frozen Marshall.

"Let him go." I growl. She looks at me, apparently undisturbed by the giant hole I created and piles of ice shards around. The blue woman smiles.

"No. Marshall's mine. You can't have him. I've got to marry a prince you know!" Then her smile turns into a pout. "Fiona and Cake get all the princes, and now you have Marshall." The wicked grin again. "But he's mine!" She shouts with a snarl.

"You leave me no choice." I whisper tucking my wings behind me. I step into a defensive position and get ready for hits. The old woman smiles and shoots large ice shards at me, but I deflect them. I am an elementalist, meaning that I can bend all the elements around me. Ice and fire for example. The woman's smile fades slightly as she sees me bend an ice shard back into water, then bend it around me. I send it back to her as thousands of tiny (sharp) ice shards with a small motion of my wrist.

The women is too slow to dodge them and they pin her to the wall behind her. I step out of the defensive and calmly walk over to the half-frozen Marshall. I conjure a large fire around him to melt the ice, and he collapses. I catch him just in time. In the background I see the woman struggle. I run over to the wall I smashed through and I jump off the edge -Marshall still in my arms- and spiral downward, at the last second opening my wings and swooping upwards. Above the clouds, I glide. Seeing a cave, I enter, landing swiftly. Inside the cave, there's a little house with a basketball court and a deck. I quickly rush inside the house, finding the door unlocked, and jump back in surprise to find that the pictures around the house, are of Marshall! I quickly run to the bedroom and set him on the bed. I rummage through the closet and find a few blankets. I carefully lay them over Marshall and once again conjure up fire to warm him.

He... looks so peaceful. I, I don't know what it is, but right now he is the most beautiful person I've ever seen. My heart is thudding against my rib cage, and I feel kinda queasy. What's going on? In a quick moment I bend down and brush my lips softly against his. My wings start to feel like they're on fire again, and I crawl into the bed next to Marshall to keep him warm, and from me passing out on the floor. I soon blackout like I predicted, but this time with my body pressed close to Marshall's.


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